I seriously bow down to you mamas who have stayed at home 24/7 since baby #1 was born. I seriously, honestly and truly suck at being home sometimes. I can't manage to clean, cook, drop off/pick up the Schmoop at summer camp, take the Schmoopette to special events and get a couple of hours of work done all in same day. I end up staying up way too late to write and then end up with a huge sleep deficit the next day. So now I'm in a really bad mood.
I adore my kids, but man is this parenting at home thing is joyless for me today. Every two seconds D is crying and screaming and accusing her brother of this, that or the other sibling crime. E, meanwhile, gets asked to compromise at every turn because I JUST CAN'T TAKE THE CRYING. I thought this would get easier after a few months, but it has been six months of freelancing from home, and I am still struggling at balancing it all.
It's not that I wish I were back in a 9-to-6 job, because I love having a flexible work schedule. I just suck at organizing my day so I have time to do everything I need to do. I end up going with the flow most days, and then by 8PM, I realize my apartment looks like a tornado blew through it, and I still have three sources to call for my next work project. On the bright side, I did score a BlackBerry Curve last weekend, so at least now I can keep in touch while I'm running errands around metro DC with the kids.
I know so many moms who make this look easy, but it's actually sooooo hard. I imagine it might be easier if I gave up freelancing, but then I'd be unhappy. So for now, I have to keep trying to juggle. Eventually it will get better. I hope.