A friend of mine, who was due at the same time as I am, had a miscarriage last week. It was a second-trimester miscarriage, and it was anyone can imagine, devastating. I know everyone has a different opinion about when life starts, but to my friend, she had lost a baby. A desired baby she and her husband had hoped and prayed for. A baby her preschool-aged daughter was aware of already.
I have never had a miscarriage. I have no idea what that emotional and physical pain feels like. I have had several loved ones die -- I'd been to more than six funerals by time I was 16 -- but I can't comprehend losing a pregnancy. Among my sisters and sisters-in-law we've had 10 pregnancies and only one miscarriage, and my sister-in-law's miscarriage was in the first trimester and she got pregnant again just a few months later.
My friend is grieving, and I grieve with her acutely aware of the fact that my growing belly should be hers as well. I don't know the right words to say or the right things to do. To those of you who've experienced a miscarriage, I ask: What did friends do that helped? How did you deal with friends who were pregnant at the same time?