Most of you who know us are probably thinking the "V" in question refers to a certain little procedure that would ensure we remain a family of five. But in fact, I'm referring to probably the funniest conversation my husband (or I!) has ever had with one of our kids. Behold, a transcription of a recent talk he had with the Schmoopette, age three-and-three-quarters, while giving her a bath.
Schmoopette: "Daddy, boys have penises and girls have cho-chos."
Husband: "Yes, boys have penises and girls have vaginas."
Schmoopette: "Do I have to say vagina?"
Husband: "Well no. Vagina is usually what grown-ups say, though."
Schmoopette: "When I'm a grown-up, I'm going to have a biiiiiiiig vagina!"
Schmoopette: "Daddy, will I have hair on my vagina?"
Husband: "Yes, most women do"
Schmoopette: "When will I start to have hair on my vagina?"
Husband: "I think when you're a teenager"
Schmoopette: "Does V [13-year-old cousin] have hair on HER vagina?"
Husband: "It's not nice to talk about other people's private parts"
Schmoopette: "OK, Daddy!"
Who else thinks my husband deserves a medal for the way he handled this conversation without screaming for my help in the bath or quickly changing the subject? Go, Daddy!