Rest In Peace, Mami

My beloved Mami passed away this morning. It was a quiet death, with my older sister Diana at her side. It was not the passing my siblings and I hoped for -- one where all four of us were somehow there at the same time, her birthday blanket of all the grandkids' pictures wrapped around her, her favorite hymns playing in the background -- but death, like birth, rarely comes exactly how you want or envision it.

This picture is from last New Year's Eve. It was  just a couple of weeks before a necessary colostomy surgery in January left her a shell of her former self. But this past New Year's Eve, Mami was genuinely happy. She had come to my house for Christmas and stayed through New Year's, when my brother Louis and his family came down from New York. We went out for seafood. We played Scrabble. We had my mother's favorite -- shrimp cocktail with extra lemon and sauce (see photo!). When the clock struck midnight, Mami got choked up toasting to 2008, saying she felt blessed to ring in another year. Looking back, I think she knew in her heart of hearts that it would be her last New Year's, but as always she kept the tone sweet and festive.

That was my mother -- the life of a party, everybody's best friend (even her occasional hairstylist from when we lived in Brooklyn called me to offer condolences) -- a petite but fierce woman who overcame so much tragedy throughout her life and battled cancer on her terms until it was finally time to let go.

She loved "I Love Lucy," "The Golden Girls" and "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," the Colombian dance la cumbia and the movies "Gone With the Wind" and "The Godfather." She preferred beer to wine and a Screwdriver to any other kind of cocktail. She was a great dancer but a terrible singer. She thought Clark Gable, Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds and George Clooney were the most handsome actors ever. She never stopped loving my father, who died when she was 37. She never left the house without a full face of make-up on, and until the lymph-edema caused her one leg to swell, she almost always wore high, high heels, size 5 1/2. She felt naked without jewelry, especially earrings, but thought ankle-bracelets were trashy. In her thirties, she was once confused for Sofia Loren, even though Mami was at least eight inches shorter than the Italian superstar. She couldn't get enough of old-school celebrity gossip or news about Queen Elizabeth. She dreamed of going to England, but when she finally reached it in 2006, she ended up preferring Paris. Until recently, she always covered her gray, sometimes with a color other than black.

I could go on, but most of all, she loved her friends and her children, and she absolutely adored her eight grandchildren, who were the delight of her life.

Rest in peace, Mami. We'll miss you for the rest of our lives.

Comments

[Toni]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Sandie, and I love this photo! She looks so lovely and happy here. Thinking of you, babe.

[chris]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Wife and Mommy]

Sandie, she was a lovely lady with so much personality. I'm just sorry that I never got a chance to meet her and thank her for raising a wonderful daughter who is my friend. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Leticia- Tech Savvy Mama]

What a beautiful post about someone who I know I would have loved to know. Please know my thoughts are with you and your family. Thinking of you!

[Mercy]

Thank you for honoring her by sharing such beautiful and fun memories. My sister and I want you to know that we're thinking of you, your siblings, your family... your mom will always be remembered as an exceptional lady who inspired love and devotion to her children. Consider yourself group hugged by us!

[Alice]

What a beautiful tribute to your mom. I'm sorry for your loss and your family is in my thoughts.

[MammaLoves]

I'm so sorry Sandie. I know from our brief conversations how much you loved her and it's clear from your post that she adored you and your siblings and her grandchildren.

I hope she has finally found peace from that horrible disease.

Please know that I am extending my thoughts and wishes to you as a warm blanket over these next weeks and months.

[Marilou]

What a beautiful tribute. I know your mother is proud of you and your family and will watch down on you all with love and adoration.

[ginevra]

I am so, so sorry. it's been one of those summers, hasn't it?

[gabby]

I'm sitting here crying my eyes out because right now I feel like I know your mother so well. You painted a beautiful picture of Abuelita. What an incredible daughter you are.

[Kristen]

such a sweet tribute. Your mom will certainly be missed.

[Alaina Browne]

So sorry to read this news. Thinking of you and your family.

[Whymommy]

What a wonderful lady, and a beautiful tribute. I keep thinking of all you've written about her here over the past few months, and of how we've gotten to know a little bit about her as well.

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Melissa]

What a beautiful tribute, Sandie. I am sorry I never got to meet her. Love to you and your family. xoxo, Melissa

[Amy Rico]

Thinking of you and your family with sorrow and love in my heart. Praying for you too. Love you.

[Stimey]

I'm so sorry, Sandie. I'm thinking of you.

[bethany]

so sorry Sandie, thinking of you. peace and strength to you and the family, and may the memories shine.

[Patty]

What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman.

[MJ Tam]

((hugs)) A beautiful tribute. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Take Care,
MJ

[Elizabeth Harper]

What a lovely tribute. I am so sorry for your loss. How wonderful to have had such love in your life.

[ostomy bags]

She looks so very happy in the picture. I am so sorry for your loss, Sandie.

-Luigi