Before I start my post, I want to thank Beth and ruby & roja design for the much-needed facelift. After five years of the basic red and white, it was time to let a professional take control. I highly recommend Beth's services if you're in the market for web design.
Last night, I took the kids to California Tortilla for dinner. On Mondays they offer a wheel-of-fortune spin with your purchase, which the kids love, and twice I've gotten a free burrito out of the adventure.
The four of us sat in a corner by ourselves until an elderly gentleman sat down next to us. At first I didn't notice what he was carrying, but when he placed it on the table, there it was -- a green Bubba Keg.
Within seconds, my eyes began to well with tears. I looked down at my food, but it was too late. The kids had caught me during a grief trigger. "Why are your eyes red?" E asked. "Why are you sad, Mama?" D demanded.
I just shook my head, not wanting to reveal something the older man might overhear. He was busy swigging water (at least I hope it was water) to down about a dozen pre-dinner pills.
Anyway, what was I going to say: "Hey, your Bubba Keg is exactly like the one my dead mother kept by her side while she was dying!"
But that's exactly what the Bubba Keg was -- the cooler my sister Diana bought our mother, so she'd always have ice water on her bed-side table. During my many visits to my sister's home before Mami died, I filled it at least once a day with water and cubed ice. If you didn't screw the top on just right, it was likely to cause a major spill. Mami reminded me of this fact every single time she asked me to fill the big green cooler. In fact, I can picture pretty much every single member of my family -- even my nieces and nephews and my two older kids -- with the damn thing.
I don't know if my sister took it to the hospice center where Mami spent her final six-and-a-half days, but it was in Diana's house when I arrived. Seeing it then, it was impossible to imagine anyone else every drinking something out of it. It had been Mami's.
But there was the nice little old Jewish man, reading the weekly Forward, telling me the baby's name was the same as his rabbi's, asking E if he'd share his favorite jokes from the kids' joke book he was reading, complimenting D's cute sundress ... and drinking out of Mami's Bubba Keg. It was hard not to stare, not to remember, not to burst into tears.
That green Bubba Keg. I think of it and can still hear her say "Traeme mas hielo, mamita."







Nice new snazzy look! I like it!
I love my Bubba Keg and when I get the pleasure of meeting you in person, I promise not to bring it.
Posted by: Christi L | April 28, 2009 at 09:48 AM
I had to store it away because I couldn't stand to look at it. It was too hard. I don't know when I will ever be able to look at it again.
I did want to clarify the fact that it was Cacha (our mother's best friend) who bought it for her when she came to visit Mami last year. Cacha and I went to Walmart together and picked it out together, but it was her idea. Before the Bubba Keg, I would just bring ice up in a glass.
Posted by: Diana | April 28, 2009 at 04:48 PM
Continuing to keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Patty | April 29, 2009 at 06:36 AM
(Your site looks beautiful.)
It's amazing how evocative certain things can be, huh? I'm sorry it's so painful.
Posted by: Stimey | May 01, 2009 at 10:55 PM
I'm so so sorry...
You are such a warm and loving person-
my good thoughts go out to you.
xo
Posted by: BananaBlueberry | May 05, 2009 at 01:47 PM
I could just see him there next to you guys ... I'm sorry you had to face this in person. You wrote about it beautifully.
BTW, I LOVE the new look!
Posted by: WhyMommy | May 05, 2009 at 11:11 PM