Urban Mama

Blogalicious 2009: Highlights of an Inspiring Conference

It has taken me a week to find the time to write about my trip down to Atlanta for the very first Blogalicious conference for women bloggers (most of whom were of color). I've decided to break it down into several posts, because there's just so much to say.

1. Blogalicious Helped Me Face My Fears

The trip started when I took off in a loaner Equinox at 3:AM to pick up my very pregnant fellow DC-blogger Kim, who was my carpool partner for a Chevy-sponsored road-trip to the conference. For those of you who don't know this about me, let me express what a HUGE deal this was, because I DO NOT like to drive on highways. I am NOT a great driver. I was in two car accidents as a permit driver during my junior year in high school (one of which was my fault, the other of which I still have scars from as the wounded passenger), and then right before the school-year ended, my beloved aunt was killed in a car accident. I never took drivers' ed (it wasn't required, I knew I wasn't going to get a car, and I was too busy to care), and I didn't even bother to test for my license until the summer after my freshman year in college. Living in New York City for 13 years, I rarely drove, and whenever I did, it was at most, for one hour to relieve my husband, who has always done 98% of the long-distance driving.

This is all to say that driving to Blogalicious and back meant overcoming a phobia. It helped that we had a fully-equipped, brand-new car, OnStar, a leisurely stop at a  Sonic drive in for shakes and burgers, and an iPod hookup to make the drive that much easier -- not to mention that Kim and I both love musical theater, so we spent the majority of the time listening to XM On Broadway singing along to showtunes. When we finally arrived at the W Hotel in Atlanta, I called my husband and said "I did it!," and he was quite proud (I think he was also massively . Of course, he also joked that I'll have to drive to the City the next time we go, but hey, now I know I can!

I'm sure it sounds a bit ridiculous to those who've driven cross-country since they were teenagers, but my fear of driving has been a very real issue. I have turned down countless invitation because I couldn't fathom driving a long way (as in more than 20 miles) by myself. I have caused my husband a great deal of aggravation, because I would snort and sniffle every time he suggested we switch off, so he could rest or work. So among the reasons I'll always remember this first Blogalicious weekend is that it's the first time I fully participated in a road-trip without depending on someone else to do all the driving. It's a big deal, and I'm grateful to Kim, Blogalicious, and Chevy, for helping me get past my fear and unleash my (timid) road warrior.

Oh, and after 22 hours in a car together, Kim and I learned that oversharing is a good way to keep a tired driver from getting too sleepy. Let's just say we'd each know exactly what to say to make the other drink in a friendly game of "I Never."

10 New Blogs to Read

I just came back from BlogHer yesterday and am duly exhausted, but I wanted to share 10 blogs I recently discovered that you should read too.

1. In Pursuit: Think you know a thing or two about crime shows? Read Toni's site dedicated to great crime television, film and fiction. She knows more about every crime-related series -- on screen or paper -- than anyone I've ever met.So if you're one of those procedural fans who can prattle off every detective pairing on the Law & Orders, this is the site for you.
2. Filming in Brooklyn: This site is run by my good friend, Amy, who lives in the neighborhood our family sadly left more than a year ago. Since her blog combines two of my favorite topics -- entertainment and Brooklyn -- it's no surprise that I love finding out what movies and TV shows are shooting in our favorite New York borough.
3. Cake Wrecks: My mama friends from LiveJournal tipped me off to this sidesplitting photo blog,which depicts "When professional cakes go horribly, hilariously wrong." I don't know Jen, but her commentary on the cakes is priceless, and she classifies her finds into categories like "Beyond Bizzare" (including a cake that looks like a sleeping premature baby) and "Oh So Ugly."
4. Wife and Mommy: My newest pal to join the momosphere (and look, she already has a cool banner, something I can't seem to manage), W&M chronicles her suburban life with three kids 4 and under (Bito, Cupcake and BabyMuffin). Whether it's showing how she cleans her fridge or showing off her photography skills, she's always helpful, insightful and witty.
5. Mothers With Cancer: Having a mother with cancer, I find this collaborative blog of 19 mothers battling the big-C an amazing, life-changing endeavor. I wish my mother could express the challenges, anger, triumphs and tragedies of living with scans, chemo, radiation, remission, metastasis, life and death. Of course, I wish "Daughters of Mothers With Cancer" was a site too.
6. Moms Minivan.com: Yes, I drive a minivan, and, yes, we are going on a roadtrip soon, so this blog is just what I need this week. There are 101 car games, roadtrip ideas, traveling tips and more. With gas prices approaching $5 a gallon, I imagine roadtripping is at an all-time low, but our trip will cost less than 4 plane tickets to Tampa, and this site's gonna help us stay sane along the way.
7. Vegan Lunch Box: I am not very original with my cooking, so this site is an inspiration to those of us who think of making lunches as a chore rather than a joy. I am not sure I will ever be as creative as Jennifer, but seeing all the healthful and artistic bentos she prepares is a challenge to get out of the PB&J, pretzels and juicebox grind.
8. Simple Mom: This woman is my new domestic hero. I, as my husband, siblings and brutally honest friends would agree, am a sucktastic housekeeper and cook. I'm basically a home ec. flunkie. But Toblerone, the Simple Mom, rocks. I bow to her commitment to simple living and extraordinary parenting. I hope to implement many of her suggestions for running an organized home (OK, the aforementioned family and friends can stop laughing... now... really...)
9. We Covet: It sounds like a conspicuous consumption blog, but it's a low-key product blog about stuff -- from kiddie invitations and green backpacks to DVDs and double strollers -- that make the hosts happy.
10. Tender Cargo: This is a business blog, but it's a great resource for babywearers and parents interested in eco-friendly products. I have never bought anything from Tender Cargo, but I love all the videos and photos of baby carriers.

Thanks for Reading

I haven't posted in a really, really long time. It has been a month of many personal and professional transitions (and there are still many to come), but just when I thought I would pop back into the blogosphere, I was suddenly confronted with a surprisingly critical comment.

I've never deluded myself that I'm one of those A-list mommy bloggers who can craft witty, insightful posts about the daily triumphs and travails of parenthood several times a week. But I do enjoy writing when the mood strikes me, regardless of how many of you are reading along. Never have I imagined, however, that my posts -- especially those about my children -- are simply cringe-inducing and annoying exaltations of "how cute and awesome my kids are." How wrong I was, apparently. Thank you, random reader, for taking the time to tell me to "tone it down." Perhaps you delight in anonymously posting on blogs you don't even care for just to spread a little hate around, or perhaps you really think I will immediately take steps to make my little blog satisfy you. Will the following steps suffice?

• I will instantly make up new and less-cutesy nicknames for my children, instead of calling them the actual nicknames their "Seinfeld"-loving father came up with while they were in-utero.
• I will edit all of my children's quotes so they sound age-appropriately glib and cynical
• I will refrain from exhibiting any excitement or wonder or joy when writing about my kids.
• I will write only about my kids driving me insane and how I occasionally wish I, like "The Sound of Music" Baroness, I could just send my kids, ages two and five, to boarding school.
• I will remind myself that this is not a password-protected, friends-only journal and that "random readers" might just find me too treacly and trite for their taste. And that after deciding I'm too treacly and trite, said random readers will proceed to tell me to "take stock" and "tone it down."

Thanks again, rr. I hope I've addressed your concerns. I look forward to your reader loyalty in the months to come... Or perhaps you've moved on to blindly criticize some other unsuspecting blogger?