And the Drama Continues

I haven't been around much lately... Here's a recap of why (I hope you don't mind that I copied and pasted this from another journal):

From Friday:
I had an U/S today which was supposed to reassure me after my 20-week U/S scare. Instead, it proved to be pretty horrible. The baby no longer has a choroid plexus cyst in her brain, but her lateral ventricles are dilated. A normal lateral ventricle is not much larger than 7.5-8 mm. Anything over 10 but less than 15 mm is considered mild ventriculomegaly. Well, the Schmoopette's right ventricle measures at 9 mm and the left at a troubling 12 mm. This means there is fluid collecting in her left ventricle. Mild ventriculomegaly, if isolated, usually means nothing. But because this is my pregnancy's third soft marker, the U/S OB said he was concerned. He said that even though quote "there was nothing I could do about it now anyway," I should come in Monday for bloodwork, a talk with the genetic counselor and possibly an amnio, just to see if the baby indeed has a chromosomal problem or if the cause is something else.

I'm really emotionally drained. I am praying very hard that my baby is healthy. I know that many of us take for granted that each of our children will be perfect and healthy, but as I face the possibility that mine isn't, please pray that God grant me the strength to realize that my baby is my baby, a blessed gift no matter what.

And from today:
Despite the genetic counselor's reassurances, I had the amnio yesterday. It hurt! The doctor was very sweet and told me what I would feel each step of the way. He explained I'd feel the needle prick and then experience a cramp, and that's exactly what it felt like, a really bad abdominal cramp while he was taking out the amnio liquid to test for chromosomal abnormalities and the three viruses that tend to cause mild ventriculomegaly. Then there was a complication. Because the baby is much bigger than a second trimester baby (when most amnios are done), the baby kicked and the needle slightly nicked the umbilical cord. We could see some dripping on the sono, so after the procedure I had to be on a monitor in the L&D from 2:45 until 6PM. There were a few mild contractions but further sonos showed the dripping had slowed and then stopped. Now I'm on bedrest for 24 hours, so I am working wirelessly from my bedroom.

I find out some of the results of the amnio (the three major Trisomies and the sex chromosomes can be checked within 48 hours, whereas the complete karyotyping takes an additional 10 days) on Thursday, so keep sending your prayers and good vibes my way. The genetic counselor and the maternal fetal specialist said they had never seen a woman under 35 with two negative screenings under her belt end up with a positive amnio, but there's always that "1" person in the statistics, you know?

I'm just scared and feel alone. The husband (now an actual corporate attorney) was in court all day yesterday with a partner, so I had to go through everything by myself. I could've called my mom, but she needed to pick up the Schmoop from preschool, and I didn't want her to worry. I had such a calm resolve about the whole situation that I joked with the maternal fetal OB (who had done the amnio) that we would all save on the lab costs if I had the baby, since obviously there'd be no need to check the chromosomes anymore... He kept saying that he thought I hated him, but I don't. I knew there was a slight risk of preterm labor involved with the amnio, but 33.5 weeks didn't seem THAT early, and honestly, I just need to know, so I can prepare myself. If this baby has special needs, I may need to take a leave of absence from work, join a support group, etc.

Comments

[Mynn]

*super big hugs*

[Toni]

Oh, honey, I'll keep you and Schmoopette in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you peace and light. Big bear hugs from me and the fellas over here.

[Lei]

Sending lots of hugs, positive thoughts, and good luck your way. You're not alone!!

[Valerie]

I just wanted you to know that you and you're family are in my thoughts. I will be praying for you.

[Sandie]

Thanks to all four of you for your comments. I'm definitely on pins-and-needles waiting for the results. I am functioning here at work, but inside I'm a mess. I wish I could just hope for the best, but if I do, then won't that make me even more devastated if the news is bad? Ugh! I wish I didn't have to go through this.

[Sarah]

Just wanted to let you know I am still thinking of you, and praying for you and Hans and Elias and Schmoopette.

[Valerie]

Visited your blog from dotmoms...

My prayers are with you.

[Katy]

You and your family are in my thoughts; I sincerely hope all is fine with the Schmoopette.

[chris]

(((HUGS)))

I wish I had some words to say to make you feel better. Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you and the baby.

[Ang]

I am going through the same thing right now I am 29 wks. Pregnant with my daughter and on Friday I had an ultrasound that showed her ventricle fluid at 14mm I'm not sure which ventricle it is but the fear of my child having something wrong is to much, I go back on wednesday to find out more and for more testing and al I can do is pray to God that my daughter will live a normal life but for any parent, how do you prepare yourself for such a thing, the more I think about it the worse it is on her because of the stress, all I can do is pray, as I will for you too! God Be With Us