« On Preschool Gender | Main | Giddy and Proud »

January 24, 2005



I can totally understand how that's annoying. My mom got 101 comments about how I looked nothing like her (including the are you her nanny comment) and I remember her feeling irritated about it when I was young. It was pretty true, at face value I looked like a child sent straight over from Norway, but as I've aged you can see more and more of my mom and her family in me. I'll never look typically Jewish but I know my mom is pleased that I look a little more like her now. I'm curious how it will be with Julia since Brian and I both looked pretty similar as babies.


Pre-baby, I was convinced I'd get numerous people asking if my offspring were adopted from China. Thus far (with just one sprung-off), I've thankfully had none of that.

For what it's worth, from the little picture of you in the upper corner I think I see a strong similarity around your mouth and maybe chin.


People just don't think before they open their mouth. It's terrible. We used to get all sorts of comments about how K looks like J and NOTHING like me. And we're not even an interracial couple! So annoying.


Whichever of you she looks like, she is BEAUTIFUL!

People say dumb things all the time, because they don't know what to say. I think that most of the time people don't mean to be offensive.

None of my children look like me. I am fair with blonde hair and green eyes. My husband is Italian with dark olive skin and black hair and dark brown eyes, and his features are more prominent than mine. I do have one son with blonde hair, but even he doesn't look anything like me.

The one comment that really bugs me is when people will say, too bad none of your children got light eyes. Ummmm... there brown eyes work just fine, not like they are BLIND!

When people say to me "Oh we know who their Dad is", I am always tempted to say something like, "yes good thing they look like him otherwise we'd have no idea who the father is"


Everyone says our son looks like his daddy except my MIL! She once made the comment that my son and I have the same facial expressions, how we're just peas in a pod. And you wouldn't believe it but my husband got jealous and said, "He looks like me when he's sleeping!" Ridiculous. hahah


It is hard to believe that so many people speak before they think! Those kind of comments would bug me too! In any case, I think she looks like you as well as your husband although she has a slightly more Asian appearance than your son. Most importantly, she is adorable and healthy with a loving mom.


Have you read "Does anybody else look like me? A parents guide to raising multiracial kids." I thought it was a good resource.

We went through a phase where everyone and their sister felt it was necessary to stop us in the grocery store and make some kind of "china doll" comment. It drove me crazy. My daughter doesn't really look like either my husband or me, but that didn't seem to generate the commentary. We only got the comments when the three of us were out together. It was like I could almost see the wheels spinning in people's minds: Look at the baby, look at the mom. Be confused. White mom, Asian-ish baby. Notice Asian man in the near vacinity. WHITE WOMAN AND ASIAN MAN, CRAZINESS! MUST COMMENT: "China doll, blah blah, baby gap model, blah blah, looks JUST like you (liars) blah blah blah."


Thanks, ladies. I'm glad I'm not the only who has heard those comments and finds them annoying. You're all right -- people just don't think when they say stuff to new mothers!


Sandie - D is juts beautiful and such a sweet smile for a baby so young! My least favorite question/comment is who does she look like - H just looks like herself is what I always say!


jen lemen

i have a long history of being mistaken for the nanny. mostly because i dressed like a slob at the playground while my very fair headed children looked adorable and great!

hang in there.


Sandie, I could've written your post--except you write much more eloquently. Love your blog, BTW.
I get the 'you must be the nanny' look often, and we get the 'china doll' comment a lot, too. But, here's what throws me off...I'm not sure if I know what 'china doll' means. I always get that Taya looks just like her daddy. No Vietnamese in her...blahh blah... So, I'm confused at the china doll comment. Maybe it has nothing to do with being asian??? I am reading The Kite Runner, and one of the male characters is Afghani. He was described as having features like a china doll. Now, I gotta go look it up in the dictionary and google "china doll." Heee.

Delia is pretty darn cute!! She's beautiful.


Cindie, I don't think a baby has to be Asian to be called a "china doll." It's just that when a baby IS part Asian, it's even more annoying after a while!


She's GORGEOUS!!! God Bless her!!!

The comments to this entry are closed.