My 4 1/2-year-old daughter wore this exact same dress yesterday, a fact I realized just now as I was searching for a completely different picture in iPhoto. I know it's rather morbid to admit, but I keep dreading the day when the "last 12 months" button will no longer render any photos of my mother. Thank God that day is not today.
Today, as I filtered the visual library of my life, Mami's in the very first photo, from this same weekend last year. She was gaunt, and she had made an extraordinary effort to simply come down the stairs to participate in the family get together at my sister Diana's house.
Clad in her illness uniform -- undershirt, pajamas, housecoat -- she didn't seem to mind the camera snapping pictures. Obviously, my heart and mind must've been somewhere else, because this is a pretty damn awful shot, but it does not matter. There she is, sitting between her two youngest granddaughters, trying to keep my niece from squirming away. The time for fixing herself up for a photo (when she was healthy, she would not even allow herself to be photographed without makeup or with her glasses on) had long passed, and she was simply happy to be surrounded by her adored and adoring grandbabies.
One year later, D still fits into that pink Baby Lulu dress, my niece is still a wriggly little thing at 2 1/2, but their Abuela, she is gone. As my good friend Jean expressed in the final lines of her beautiful post about photographs of her father, these girls may not remember their Abuela's face or voice or the everyday impact she had on their earliest years, but they will always have these photos, this history. A history my siblings and I will make sure our children never forget.
I don't think this is an awful photo at all. Perhaps it isn't how she appears in most of the photos or your memories of her, but it is a snapshot in time that you can treasure forever. I think your children will love looking at this photo of themselves with her when they are older.
Sending hugs!
Posted by: Leticia- Tech Savvy Mama | August 01, 2009 at 09:17 AM
You are a wonderful daughter. And mother. And by helping your children remember your mother, you are giving them a wonderful gift -- the gift of their grandmother.
I don't think you can do much better than that.
Posted by: WhyMommy | August 03, 2009 at 12:39 AM
Hi Sandie,
I'm your shredhead partner, nice to meet you.
-beth
Posted by: beth | August 03, 2009 at 11:22 AM
And they will have your stories about her, which is so important. Lovely post.
Posted by: Stimey | August 16, 2009 at 01:27 PM