Urban Mama: You Know What I Did Last Summer

You Know What I Did Last Summer

Last year, my immediate family didn't go on a summer vacation. Instead, faithful readers of this blog know my husband and I crazily drove from D.C. to Tampa with a four-month-old, 3.5-year-old and 6-year-old, so I could spend three weeks visitingMami at my sister's house. My siblings and I knew the end was near, so my sister Diana and brother-in-law Larry generously allowed all of us to crash at their house for 20 days.

This exact weekend marks the penultimate visit I had with my mother, and the final time my husband and older two children ever saw her. I'm so thankful, looking back, that my sister and I have the kind of relationship that made that trip a possibility. Even though it was difficult to be away from my husband for 15 days (he drove us down, took a flight back to DC, and then flew down to drive us back home), those three weeks provided me with some beautiful final memories ofMami with my children and me.

It was, after all, an Olympic summer, so Michael Phelps' glorious gold streak shall forever be strangely linked with my last summer withMami. It was a summer of buying her Pollo Tropical and Colombian take out, because neither my sister nor I could adequately prepare a proper a Latin-flavored meal -- at least not toMami 's rigorous standards. It was a heartbreaking summer, when I began to do my anticipatory grief work, preparing my heart as best I could for the eventuality ofMami's death.

But it was also a joyful summer, with young cousins flapping in the pool, camping out every night in the playroom, making mini-movies on my Flip camera, and playing Rock Band over and over again. Every day, the kids spent time with theirAbuela -- bringing her ice in the Bubba Keg, talking to her briefly, and giving her hugs, kisses, and coos. The kids would have a decade of more traditional family vacations, but last summer, that trip toAbuela's was absolutely the best thing we could've done.

This year, we are going on a summer trip. We're headed to Ocracoke Island in the Outer Banks for a week, and we're all looking forward to unplugging (a bit) and relaxing on the beach. As we make our way down, I can't help but remember, with tears and a smile, how last summer's vacation began with a similar road trip. And I wish, more than anything, that we could take that trip again -- just to seeMami one more summer.

Posted at 12:38 AM in Family, Grief, Health, Mami | Permalink

Comments

I'm so glad that you can look back on it and remember the good parts of it too.

My goodness your kids look grown up in that picture!

Have fun on the Outer Banks!

Posted by: Selfish Mom | August 16, 2009 at 09:52 AM

I agree with Selfish Mom! Have a wonderful trip and I hope to have a GNO when you come back!

Posted by: Leticia- Tech Savvy Mama | August 16, 2009 at 09:20 PM

Enjoy your vacation. Funny that we keep connecting on these things, but next week marks the last time I visited my dad, 2 years ago, also in Florida, just 3 weeks before he passed away. I couldn't go back any later - I was 8 months pregnant.

I have a girls' weekend planned for my sad anniversary. I didn't plan it that way, but I'm glad it's happening.

Posted by: kgirl | August 19, 2009 at 03:54 PM

I lost my mom to colon cancer this past march and what I wouldn't give for just one more hug or to talk with her again.

i hope you have a wonderful time on the outer banks. Its one of my favorite places to visit. Hugs to you and your family

Posted by: workout mommy | August 24, 2009 at 10:37 PM

Thinking of you. Praying for you. I'm glad that you were able to spend so much time with your mom in her last days. I know that my dad cherishes the month he spent in Ireland with his mother and father, a sister, and his brothers right before his mother died. My aunt had a tiny terraced house (2 rooms up, 2 rooms down, bathroom out the back) and they all stayed there, sleeping on the floor, grieving together, supporting their parents and my aunt. My grandmother would lie in bed listening to her sons and daughter joking downstairs and ask to be taken downstairs to be with them. It gave her comfort to have them there, and I am certain it was the same for your mother. Your love lifted her up and sustained her, I'm sure.

Posted by: Colleen | August 31, 2009 at 09:23 PM

This is why it's hard to read your blog, I always end up crying. Glad that you could all come last summer too. I still can't go to that Colombian restaurant. I am so grateful for my friend who taught me to make San cocho for Mami. Hope to spend more fun times together soon.

Posted by: Diana | September 18, 2009 at 10:19 PM