My husband and I received some awful news yesterday. I can't share the exact nature of the potentially devastating news, but I can share a fitting analogy. Let's say you filled out a lottery form in the old-school fashion of bubbling in numbers. Your numbers come up, and you think you've won a significant payout -- not the huge mega-million one, but one that will change your life in so many ways you've already begun to figure out how you'll spend the cash.
Just as you're wrapping your head around what the payout will mean for your family, the lottery commission calls to say that they've evaluated your official form, and it's unclear whether you indeed bubbled in the correct numbers or not (I know this is improbable, but go with it). Then they tell you that hope isn't all lost, because there will be a special hearing to decide whether you are entitled to the lottery winnings. But if you go through with the hearing, there's a small chance you'll not only NOT WIN the money, you may actually be charged a hefty fine instead.
The answer seems obvious -- you take the risk of the fine, because the potential winnings are so great. You close your eyes and pray, because you know in your heart it's a technicality, that those numbers are really yours, that you're entitled. But it's out of your control. It's not something you can weigh in on; there's no oath you can swear that will magically sway the commission's votes in your favor. It is absolutely out of your hands. All you can do is hope that you really did win, that your tiny error in shading in the damn bubbles won't come back to haunt you. That if by any chance you don't win (God forbid!), you'll survive and move forward and not wallow in self-loathing or guilt or what-ifs.
If you're reading this, you probably care about me, so I'm asking you, please pray, hope, wish upon a star that the "lottery commission" will grant us our winnings. That the situation we find ourselves in will get resolved, so we can stop obsessing over it and move on with the blessings we'd already started counting.
Just as you're wrapping your head around what the payout will mean for your family, the lottery commission calls to say that they've evaluated your official form, and it's unclear whether you indeed bubbled in the correct numbers or not (I know this is improbable, but go with it). Then they tell you that hope isn't all lost, because there will be a special hearing to decide whether you are entitled to the lottery winnings. But if you go through with the hearing, there's a small chance you'll not only NOT WIN the money, you may actually be charged a hefty fine instead.
The answer seems obvious -- you take the risk of the fine, because the potential winnings are so great. You close your eyes and pray, because you know in your heart it's a technicality, that those numbers are really yours, that you're entitled. But it's out of your control. It's not something you can weigh in on; there's no oath you can swear that will magically sway the commission's votes in your favor. It is absolutely out of your hands. All you can do is hope that you really did win, that your tiny error in shading in the damn bubbles won't come back to haunt you. That if by any chance you don't win (God forbid!), you'll survive and move forward and not wallow in self-loathing or guilt or what-ifs.
If you're reading this, you probably care about me, so I'm asking you, please pray, hope, wish upon a star that the "lottery commission" will grant us our winnings. That the situation we find ourselves in will get resolved, so we can stop obsessing over it and move on with the blessings we'd already started counting.
Sounds terribly frustrating. Wishing you all luck.
Posted by: Montessori Mommy | August 11, 2010 at 10:14 PM
Come on, lottery commission! Hand over the loot!
Posted by: Megan | August 11, 2010 at 10:58 PM
Oh dear. I owe you an email. Praying for the best possible resolution, my friend.
Posted by: Lara | August 12, 2010 at 06:35 AM
Here's hoping that everything turns out better than expected and if you need a friend to talk to, you know where to find me!
Posted by: Leticia- Tech Savvy Mama | August 12, 2010 at 02:03 PM
Sounds so very frustrating! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.. Wishing you a positive outcome! Xo
Posted by: C.Mom | August 13, 2010 at 04:11 PM
I know that feeling well. Perhaps not the financial windfall, but knowing my child had a slot in a particular school, or counting on a certain thing (that's a sure thing) to come through and it doesn't. It's horrible, like the rug got pulled out.
Posted by: Jill | August 20, 2010 at 01:03 PM
Shoot. I didn't read this until just now. Hugs to you and wishing, wishing, wishing for a good outcome, or that it already occurred.
Posted by: Stimey | August 29, 2010 at 07:14 PM